Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Sleeping distorter

Also from a comment I posted on a different blog:

when I was growing up, I hated waking up in the morning. there was always a constant battle between needing sleep and having to wake up in time for school. the part that didn't want to wake up in the morning was lazy. the part that didn't want to fall alseep early morning was decadent. lazy and decadent are both crimes against humanity, even when you're only 16 yo. at university, I'd either miss early classes, or show up unconscious and doze off. before early morning tests, I'd stay up all night out of fear I wouldn't wake up on time.

in fact to this day I have this recurring dream. I'm in school and I'm doing great, except for one class. it's early in the morning and I can never show up on time. even when I do wake up, I decide to skip it ... better if the teacher doesn't realize how often I miss it. and all through the dream, I'm stuggling between creative ways to finish the school year, or deciding to not even bother.

when time came to pay rent, I found a part time job with a flexible schedule, so I can balance work and school. but I loved it so much, I ended up working full time by pulling out strange hours. all of a sudden staying up until 5am was not decadent, but uber-responsible. and even better, what's late for most people is when I'm most creative and can get so much stuff done.

then I found myself working on an even more interesting project. except it required me to commute, and I didn't have a car. public transportation sucked, so most of the time I'd take a ride with my father, who's office was a few blocks away.

my father wakes up at 6:30, reads the newspaper, takes a shower, and heads to the office just before rush hour. no coffee. I'd struggle half an hour to get out of bed, put some cloths on, and wake myself up during the drive. I worked this schedule for a few months, but never managed to adjust, got depressed and had no social life outside the office. fuck, I can't even remember half the stuff that happened during that time.

that's when I realized, other people's sleeping schedules are great. but I only need to concern myself with mine.

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